Totally sad, N level fail. Sibei sian la, can't be in the same class with my friends anymore. What's more serious? Can't see someone anymore! Maybe cambridge did it on purpose, they got the whole story via my english compo. lols. 3rd rejection in 2007, this time round rejected by school. It's that someone's presence that keep me alive, if not i prefer ending my life.

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the mostpainful is to love someone and never finding the courage to let theperson know how you feel

So now you know how much I hurt myself?

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Many things happen within 24hours and was the biggest impact I ever had in my life. Its kinda long but I can't rest in peace without saying. For the whole of last week I have been thinking and planning for saturday's outing. Until tuesday while going back home from work with botak, I suggested to go vivo to order some roses. For the whole of my life I only gave 2 girls roses but for the 2nd one its very different, the price I paid was very different too. The first rose which I bought a few months back was with a Mastercard and that was so damn easy. But for this 2nd one I used my courage and endurance. Using parents money to buy roses for girls is completely not sincere at all. So instead I worked in the night to get the crap salary which is just nice for the rose. Working day and night without sleeping aint easy, go try it and you will understand.

While in Vivocity yesterday was even worse, was always looking at my watch and make sure the timing is correct before collecting the rose, was about 6.30 if i am not wrong i asked botak to go "draw money" which was actually going to the florist to collect our rose. Now the embarrasing part starts. We walk like 5mins holding the rose in our hands and there were so many people looking. We headed straight to the rooftop. He took out the phone and called the rose recipents and have them to come find us. Honestly my courage is limited. She was there and my heart was pounding like i have been running for the past few hours. lols.......

So i stood up grab the roses pass it to her and said the 3 words. And thats the most i can go, my ears and face was red like for 10mins. Those pictures above were taken 10-20mins after giving the roses. Honestly this is the first time I give roses and say the 3 words. Worse still my handphone dropped while saying those 3 words LOL! I am a first timer so please forgive me.

24 hours later

Was working at my dad's place and as usual was missing someone so sms the person. Asked a question, and the answer really..................................you won't wanna know.

The flower "Rose" have created too many bad memories for me.

Wooohooo, i am officially fired from Deliver Halfway Lost. Got really angry with that motherfucker. He only saw me resting but he never saw me working, and because of that he accused me of slacking. Fucking hell he thinks i need the job very much......like LMAO?! I have already said countless times that there's only 1 thing at DHL which makes me wanna go. And thats her. Paying me 5 dollars per hour is not enough for me to even pay for my handphone bills. But anyway I am not going to let this matter rest, he totally do not care for his workers, and he call himself our 'supervisor'. Drawing a pathetic salary of like 3k per month? LMAO man! Why not he work for my company and I pay him 4k and i make him work like a dog without letting him to rest? 40 dollars a day is too little for me to survive, after deducting my breakfast, lunch and busfare i only left with 30 dollars. I really don't know what i can do with that, replacing 2 nuts for my bike already cost 25 dollars. Nobody talk to me like that except my customer, but being scolded my them let me earn more than 20k for my family, so i don't mind. But being scolded for earning 30 dollars really pissed me off.

Apart from that, I did something which I never did before in my life. I told her i love her. You got any idea how much courage i took out to do that? especially infront of friends? Just hope she believe me.

The Heart

The heart is a muscular organ responsible for pumping blood through the blood vessels by repeated, rhythmic contractions, or a similar structure in the annelids, mollusks, and arthropods.[1] The term cardiac (as in cardiology) means "related to the heart" and comes from the Greek καρδία, kardia, for "heart." The heart is composed of cardiac muscle, an involuntary muscle tissue which is found only within this organ.[2] The average human heart beating at 72 BPM, will beat approximately 2.5 billion times during a lifetime of 66 years.