I just realise I didn't go off road biking for very long already, my bike need serious upgrade too. The brake system was not as responsive as it used to be, tires grip sux too. I guess its time I prepare for the next race already. Was surfing the web for all sorts new equipment.

gonna get this helmet asap, I really got phobia on crashing. The aftermath of crashing is really scary, it has the feeling of dying. For a moment there is a shortness of breath, you can't breathe properly and you head is spinning inside. with the above helmet no such thing will happen, but the price is a fucking 300USD. But who cares? So long it can protect me then its alright lols.

wanna get this brake caliper too, it has got 6 piston compare to my 2 piston. And anyone knows what does floating disc rotor fucking mean?

Actually theres more, alot alot more. My fucking bike just issn't up to standard to go high speed during off roading. And coz of that i always lose in race.

Its not that I never let you feel that I love you can? Its that I don't have the chance can? You discouraged me once by asking me to give up, but did I? And pls don't listen to what others say, though I don't look like I love you is coz I don't wanna repeat the same mistake again. If I were to make it obvious people around will make a joke about it and eventually you will start hating me. Just try and understand me pls? And the reason I smoke = I stress.

PISCES MALE
You are sensitive and passionate, however somewhat unstable. You are attracted to strong voluptuous women. You can be extremely changeable, saying one thing to your lover and then turning around and doing exactly the opposite. You are very intuitive regarding acquaintances however quite blind to the defects of those you love. You love to go first class and will over extend yourself in order to shower your mate with expensive gifts.

Too real to believe? I never edit anything. Its found on http://www.lovetest.com/astromate/pisces.html

To the girl I confessed to:

Though the above seems real, it may only be an coincidence. Like I told you before I only love you. And you also told me before that one sided love won't last long so you clearly know that there are some things I have to forget. I already gave up once and the pain was too hard to endure and I can't bear the pain anymore to give up on you. So don't bother asking me to give up coz you know that I won't and that will only piss me off. I know sometimes I do have some attitude problem and the way I talk is rude, thats coz i care about you

There are plenty of fishes in the sea, people out there only worry about whether they have the fishing rod or not. But this does not apply to me, because I am fishing for a dolphin. Though sometimes I get bored and decided to give up on fishing the dolphin, and went to fish for some fishes in the sea instead. Trust me, fishes are much more easy to fish than a dolphin. But those fishes won't last long. Dolphins are clever creatures, they are not easy to catch. Please prove me wrong coz I have been fishing for it for 3 years now. Though it is impossible but I can't help it, coz i only like dolphin.

What hurts me the most is not that you rejected me. But its that I don't have the courage to tell you that I love you and I gave up. I can forgive myself for giving up my N level exam coz that is pure BULLSHIT! but I can't forgive myself for giving up on you coz you're a million times more important than that crap exam. I know that there is almost no U-turn now and even if there is, you might not even accept me.

Totally sad, N level fail. Sibei sian la, can't be in the same class with my friends anymore. What's more serious? Can't see someone anymore! Maybe cambridge did it on purpose, they got the whole story via my english compo. lols. 3rd rejection in 2007, this time round rejected by school. It's that someone's presence that keep me alive, if not i prefer ending my life.

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the mostpainful is to love someone and never finding the courage to let theperson know how you feel

So now you know how much I hurt myself?

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Many things happen within 24hours and was the biggest impact I ever had in my life. Its kinda long but I can't rest in peace without saying. For the whole of last week I have been thinking and planning for saturday's outing. Until tuesday while going back home from work with botak, I suggested to go vivo to order some roses. For the whole of my life I only gave 2 girls roses but for the 2nd one its very different, the price I paid was very different too. The first rose which I bought a few months back was with a Mastercard and that was so damn easy. But for this 2nd one I used my courage and endurance. Using parents money to buy roses for girls is completely not sincere at all. So instead I worked in the night to get the crap salary which is just nice for the rose. Working day and night without sleeping aint easy, go try it and you will understand.

While in Vivocity yesterday was even worse, was always looking at my watch and make sure the timing is correct before collecting the rose, was about 6.30 if i am not wrong i asked botak to go "draw money" which was actually going to the florist to collect our rose. Now the embarrasing part starts. We walk like 5mins holding the rose in our hands and there were so many people looking. We headed straight to the rooftop. He took out the phone and called the rose recipents and have them to come find us. Honestly my courage is limited. She was there and my heart was pounding like i have been running for the past few hours. lols.......

So i stood up grab the roses pass it to her and said the 3 words. And thats the most i can go, my ears and face was red like for 10mins. Those pictures above were taken 10-20mins after giving the roses. Honestly this is the first time I give roses and say the 3 words. Worse still my handphone dropped while saying those 3 words LOL! I am a first timer so please forgive me.

24 hours later

Was working at my dad's place and as usual was missing someone so sms the person. Asked a question, and the answer really..................................you won't wanna know.

The flower "Rose" have created too many bad memories for me.

Wooohooo, i am officially fired from Deliver Halfway Lost. Got really angry with that motherfucker. He only saw me resting but he never saw me working, and because of that he accused me of slacking. Fucking hell he thinks i need the job very much......like LMAO?! I have already said countless times that there's only 1 thing at DHL which makes me wanna go. And thats her. Paying me 5 dollars per hour is not enough for me to even pay for my handphone bills. But anyway I am not going to let this matter rest, he totally do not care for his workers, and he call himself our 'supervisor'. Drawing a pathetic salary of like 3k per month? LMAO man! Why not he work for my company and I pay him 4k and i make him work like a dog without letting him to rest? 40 dollars a day is too little for me to survive, after deducting my breakfast, lunch and busfare i only left with 30 dollars. I really don't know what i can do with that, replacing 2 nuts for my bike already cost 25 dollars. Nobody talk to me like that except my customer, but being scolded my them let me earn more than 20k for my family, so i don't mind. But being scolded for earning 30 dollars really pissed me off.

Apart from that, I did something which I never did before in my life. I told her i love her. You got any idea how much courage i took out to do that? especially infront of friends? Just hope she believe me.

The Heart

The heart is a muscular organ responsible for pumping blood through the blood vessels by repeated, rhythmic contractions, or a similar structure in the annelids, mollusks, and arthropods.[1] The term cardiac (as in cardiology) means "related to the heart" and comes from the Greek καρδία, kardia, for "heart." The heart is composed of cardiac muscle, an involuntary muscle tissue which is found only within this organ.[2] The average human heart beating at 72 BPM, will beat approximately 2.5 billion times during a lifetime of 66 years.